Notice the signs

We’ve all seen the classic depiction of an angel on one shoulder, the devil on the other. In movies, music videos, we’ve read about it in books. The angel whispering loving, positive support. The devil convincing you to follow your baser urges. That is how I view ego vs spirit. Ego is the devil , where Spirit is the angel.

Ego is the base of our humanity. It is our doubt, our selfishness, our drama. Ego closes us off from communication from Spirit. Spirit, our spirit guides, angels, Divine Source, God, communicates with us everyday. But our own humanity hampers down our vibration, so we don’t always recognize it.  I hope that learning some of the common signs will help all of us trust our intuition and communication with Spirit, and therefore live a connected life that lives up to our highest good.

Recognizing the signs in our everyday life

We ALL have the ability to recognize the signs that Spirit gives us in our lives. I believe that there is no such thing as a coincidence. Coincidence, synchronicity, serendipity…  all signs from our angels that we are on the path right for us or are close to it. They are rewards and encouragement for a job well done.

Some signs include:

*Pennies from heaven~  seeing pennies randomly and often along our path is a sign from spirit. Sometimes the pennies are from a passed loved one wanting you to know they are near. Often they are a sign from our Angels and guides that we are on the right path.

*Birds~ My brother Kenny often sends Blue Jays as a sign he’s with us. Cardinals are a big sign from a passed loved one. Sometimes even a robin crossing our path can be a sign that Spirit is encouraging you.

*songs~ Sometimes a song will be in our head and we just can’t get it out, and all of a sudden you’ll hear it on the radio. Or you’ll dream of a song, to hear it right away upon waking up. Sometimes it is a random song that comes on but you hear the lyrics in a different way.

*repeating numbers~ 11:11 is the most common you’ll see. Most believe it is the best time to make a wish. And in a way they are right. If we see 11:11 repeatedly it is a sign that we are connecting to Source, and to watch our thoughts carefully. There are periods where I see 757 every day, sometimes two or three times. Sometimes I will see a license plate that has some random number sequence and feel the chill/goosebumps that is my sign from my intuition that “this means something, pay attention”, I’ll look it up and sure enough, it was important.

*feathers~ a couple weeks ago my daughter and I were finding feathers randomly around the house, with no explanation as to where they were coming from. She and I were outside raking the front yard, a white feather was caught in the wind and landed right in front of me. Powerful sign that I am not alone in this journey. None of us are.

*butterflies/dragonflies~ another reminder sent by loved ones who may have passed or our angelic/spiritual guides. I recognize a yellow moth as a sign from my mom.

*deja vu~ Anytime I experience deja vu I am told that I am on the right path in my life. That I was meant to experience that exact moment at that exact time. Often times these moments are small and seemingly meaningless. But those moments let me know I’m on the right path through the big moments, when I am less likely to pay attention to the signs around me, as I am human and distracted.

This is but a small and short list of signs you may see. Pay attention to the coincidences that happen in your life, as they are a big sign.

No matter what pay attention to what you feel in your heart and your gut instincts, and not what is going on in your head. Your head is your ego, your heart and gut is Spirit.

Advertisements

Powerless??

The past few weeks I’ve been depressed. I felt it creep in masked as self doubt, a lack of compassion. I didn’t trust my intuition. I basically gave up reading my cards. I felt like I needed to learn more. I need to learn the “right” way to do this or that. I started to feel trapped. I wasn’t enjoying or finding joy in anything. Spring has finally made its way to the U.P., something I’ve been looking forward to for six months, and I couldn’t even enjoy that. Any small kindness shown to me had me in tears because I felt like I didn’t deserve it, and I didn’t know how to repay it. Because nothing I did was enough. Everyone deserves the very best I can give and I felt like I couldn’t give anything. I finally realized how deep the depression was last week when physical touch was too much. When I was begging for help but no one knew how to to help. When even if given a reprieve from taking care of my children, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I realize how little I have outside of my home, and how little my life is actually mine to live.

My life should belong to my family. That was a decision my husband and I made when we had kids. I’m a stay at home mom. It is my main purpose in life for the next fourteen years, until our youngest is grown. We all need things in our lives to fulfill us on a personal and soul deep level. And **I** have been lost and drowning on my parenting journey.

For the past couple of months the theme of ‘powerlessness’ has been coming up for me. I’m a compulsive over eater. I’m a food addict. Admitting our powerlessness is step #1 in Overeaters Anonymous. When I recognized the pattern to this theme I took steps to admit and acknowledge my powerlessness. The Serenity Prayer is my favorite mantra/affirmation/prayer.

serenityprayer
image found on google images

I tried to follow where I felt like I was being led. Get in control of my eating. It didn’t work. Yes, I lost a few pounds, became more mindful of what I was putting in my mouth and the impact it has on my body. All good things. But it wasn’t solving my problems. I was still lost. Still confused. Still depressed and sinking deeper.

My daughter, bless her beautiful heart, forced me out of the house. We cleaned the front porch. I raked up some of the yard. I grounded. It was still way too much. I surrendered. I gave into the depression. I cried. I pushed people away. I blamed people for the deep and dark I was feeling. I sank into it. I felt it.

I was thinking of starting back on an anti-depressant. My gut was telling me it wasn’t the right path this time around. That there was something here. Something I was on the verge of discovering. A lesson.

Yesterday while chatting with one of my very best friends, I decided to pull some cards for myself.

serentitytarot
Shadowscape Tarot. Picture: Heidi Oczus

Talk about an A-HA moment. The cards helped me realize I was fighting my thoughts instead of working with them. WHAT????  I gotta quit fighting my feelings. I’m entitled to them. I’m allowed to feel them. I am not my own enemy.

Now that the depression is lifting, and the fog is clearing little by little I realized that powerlessness hasn’t been the theme I was recognizing. The message coming to me was actually about taking back my own power.

As spiritualists we’ve come to rely on our guides and angels to help us on our journey. When we feel alone, when we are not receiving guidance the way we’ve grown accustomed to, we know we’re not really alone. I become frustrated though, and tend to feel blocked in some way. Like “What am I doing wrong that I’m not receiving guidance?” Today I realized I’m not blocked. I’m not alone. The quiet time was for me to realize that the power is mine to reclaim.

I took time to myself yesterday. I went grocery shopping sans kids. I ate a snack in the car while cruising facebook sans kids. I was gloriously alone for three hours. This morning I brought my daughter to school, drank my coffee while watching April the Giraffe. I caught last night’s Talking Dead to recap the season finale. I watched an old episode of Sons of Anarchy. There are always chores to do, but I decided they could wait. I just needed to breath and drop the worry. Take a few hours to myself.
I’ve also decided to take an online tarot class. It is for super beginners, but I’m very happy with it. It is an awesome refresher and it is great to learn other readers takes on the cards, reading techniques. and I really enjoy the sisterhood with other readers. I’m doing this for ME. If I don’t have time or freedom to pursue my interests outside of the home, I’m going to pursue them here. I’m also moving forward with my plans for my ideal outdoor space, and using a part of the yard no one else likes but I love. Yesterday, the kids and I took a short walk in the woods. The oldest running away anytime I pulled out my phone to take pics, and the youngest following the deer tracks and playing with sticks while wearing her pretty Minnie Mouse dress and bright pink mud boots. These small things will add up to a bigger sense of self fulfillment. I’m claiming power over what I can control, and letting go of what I can’t.

I can’t control my depression. I can’t fight it anymore. I know I will come out on the other side and have learned something about myself in the meantime. I know Spirit will lift me up when I can’t lift myself. Even if I’m so lost at the moment that I can’t recognize it.

(*disclaimer* mental illness is a real life issue that needs to be taken very seriously. Please, if you are suffering seek medical attention, and talk to someone you trust.)