“You’ve been breaking down for far too long. Far too many moons since you’ve felt well and strong.”

(Paradigm, Avenged Sevenfold)

Anyone else relate to that lyric as much as I do? I know I cannot be alone! There are days, weeks, months that feel like a constant struggle.

After a short meditation this morning, I pulled a few cards to help guide this blog post. To give me words and inspiration. They gave me a clear and personal message, but one I feel we all can relate to. And important to any empath or spiritually minded person.

 

17623010_10154660521837672_915905605_o
Rider-Waite Smith Tarot, Picture by Heidi Oczus

We all have days in which we are a hot mess. Days where we are fighting to keep ourselves together and just do what needs to be done. Days that the burden we carry seems too much. As empaths we understand how hard it is to carry another persons burdens so we keep them to ourselves. Depression, anxiety, exhaustion seem to be our “friends” and hope hard to find.

I know when I find myself in this rut of mundane daily existence and feel the pressure on my shoulders, I tend to sit in my nightgown and drink coffee all day. I do the bare minimum to survive, and keep my kids as happy as possible. It is like all my fucks have been spent, and there are just no more left to give.

It is normal. We all experience this. Every single human.

During the hard times, the struggles, we tend to focus on what we lack! We lack a clean house. We lack time to follow or pursue our interests. We lack freedom, time with friends, time to ourselves, money. We lack normalcy, we lack strange, we lack the feelings of thrill and the rush of spontaneity. Maybe we feel a lack of acceptance, self esteem or confidence.

 

How do I move forward?

17578027_10154660521822672_849293767_n

Coming from that point of ego and feelings of lack, we can’t really see the forest for the trees. Waking up from that fog is the first step. Ground yourself, and clear your energy. Always with the grounding and clearing. It is great practice in mindfulness, and really helps pull us forward.

Page of Pentacles tells me that to move forward from the struggles we need to do some work. He is seemingly alone, yet look around him! He is in a fertile field of green, surrounded by life. Crops, mountains and trees off in the distance. The pentacle in his hands represents monetary and other worldly possessions. Looking at this card I am reminded of all we have in this life.

Sit down with pen and paper, a cup of tea or coffee, and think about all you have in your life. Start a list of everything, every one, every situation you are grateful for in your life.

Take care of yourself! Practice self care. It isn’t selfish, it is 115% necessary! Say no if you’re not feeling it. Take a bath. Have a glass of wine before bed and watch a trashy TV show. Go shopping! Get your hair done! Paint your nails, exercise, meditate.

As you’re making your gratitude list think of different ways you’ve been neglecting yourself, and ways you can work self care into your life. Start to remember who you really are. You are NOT your struggle!!

Times of struggle and darkness helps to illuminate that shadow. What is that shadow teaching us? As the Red Hot Chili Peppers say “The darkness helps us all to shine.” Take the time to love yourself, learn about yourself. It will help lead you to the light!

❤ HO

Advertisements

I am an empath, now what?

“I am Grounded. I am Connected. I am Protected.” 

I repeat this affirmation to myself a lot. When I’m overwhelmed, when I’m scattered, when I’m anxious. This affirmation brings me back into the present and provides me a reminder to bring my energy back to myself.

I’m FINALLY going to let you all in on how I have gained some control over my empath side, how I opened my intuition, and I’m going to keep it very simple. Everyone can do it. But it might sound way out there for those who are not into woo woo.

Grounding, clearing, shielding.

Everything is energy. Our thoughts, emotions, our bodies, all operate and respond to the vibrations of that energy. Some of us are naturally at a vibration that makes us sensitive to other peoples energy. When we are operating at that higher vibe we can be a bit air headed, forgetful, overwhelmed. Sometimes we take on other people’s emotions as if they are our own, which is so hard when that person is scattered, angry, frustrated. Taking the time to ground ourselves is the first step in being able to gain some control.

What is grounding?

When we ground ourselves we connect to the earth, use her energy to even ourselves out. There is a lot of different information out there, lots of different ways, lots of different ways to get our energy back and center ourselves. I’m going to keep it simple, and give you the one way that I’ve found works the best for me.

Sit on the earth. Walk around your yard barefoot. Go for a walk in the woods. Go for a hike. Sit and appreciate Mother Earth and her beauty.

Simple right? Taking it a step further, if you can meditate or visualize, visualize your connection growing roots deep to the center of the earth.

If you can’t get outside, sit in your favorite chair with your feet flat on the floor, and visualize roots growing into the earth. Sit and do it for a good 10-15 minutes.

Dark crystals are grounding as well. But I will talk about that in another blog post. As well as other woo woo ways to ground yourself. I feel like simple earth grounding is the best way to get that process started. Practice today. Feel the gratitude for all Mother Earth has given us. Feel the connection.

Once you feel that connection you will be better able to stay within yourself, less affected by others energies.

Clearing

Sometimes we need to cleanse and clear ourselves for a fresh start, and get rid of the negative energies. There are so many ways to do this. Incense, sound, sage.

I use palo santo. It has a wonderful scent, that I find very soothing. Its smoke is a powerful and sacred energetic cleanser. Sage bundles work wonderfully as well, and is a bit more mainstream. Incense smoke works as well and can be bought anywhere. Clapping your hands can chase away the negative energies. Making a lot of noise, singing and dancing will chase away the negative energies and welcome the positive.

You can also cleanse your energy in the shower. Visualize the negative leaving your body and aura and washing right down the drain. leaving behind a nice sparkly aura that is nothing but light and positive.

 

Protecting

I’m ready to head to the store and get our grocery shopping done for the week. Big stores are just awful. Such a mix of energy, a lot not positive at all. Trying to keep my mind straight to remember what I need, keep track of my youngest kiddo who wants to hide or twirl in circles down the frozen foods aisle. I end up grabbing the bare minimum and getting the hell out of dodge happy that we survived the experience.

I’ve done my best to ground, and cleanse my energy. Now it is time to protect and shield. Because I’m not going to head into Walmart without shielding myself. Not if I want to drive home safely. I check in with myself, recognize my emotions, take a few deep breaths. I envision myself surrounded by a bubble, and I know nothing of low vibes is going to get in that bubble. Visualizing a disco ball surrounding you is so fun too. PING PING, negativity bouncing right off that disco ball, and I’m safe and sound inside getting my shit done.

I repeat my mantra as needed, as a reminder and setting myself up for success. “I am grounded. I am connected. I am protected.” A few deep breaths and I am ready to go tackle the rest of my day.

When it comes to our empathic and sensitive nature, and protecting our energy, it takes practice to learn what works for us. Don’t feel defeated when it doesn’t happen right away. This journey is incredibly personal. Please take the time to take care of yourself and do what you need to do to replenish your energy! Self care is so important.

Message/email/send me a carrier pigeon if you want a tarot/oracle reading to help you begin your empath journey.  I’m here for you!

Love and Light

❤ Ho

 

Empath 101

When I worked as a CNA, death was a part of the job. I hated it. I loved caring for the residents. Holding their hand in their final hours was an incredible honor and privilege. Their families though, I couldn’t seem to face. Their grief was like a blanket. Thick, heavy, inevitable. Each time I was in their presence I couldn’t hardly look at them. I couldn’t offer any kind words. I was helpless, because they were helpless. I’d care for their loved one with great respect, as if he or she were my own family. It never felt like enough. I’d bring meals, snacks, brew fresh coffee. Bring them blankets and pillows, geri-chairs if we had any available so they could stretch their legs and rest. Mostly, I left the comforting to my coworkers, and avoided the families. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t handle it as well as my co workers. Why was it so incredibly overwhelming for me? Because I’m an empath!  

When we show empathy, we can place ourselves in another person’s shoes and understand how they feel. An empath not only understands how the other feels, but we take it on ourselves. How it manifests may differ from person to person.

There are so many signs of being an empath. No list is all encompassing. You may not relate to all of these symptoms, or you may experience them differently. I think this list will give you a good idea of what an empathic person might experience on a day to day basis.

~you are an overly sensitive person

~anxiety/social anxiety and feeling awkward in social situations

~you get overwhelmed in crowds

~strong first impressions

~you know when someone is lying or untrustworthy

~you value truth

~it seems as if people come out of the woodwork, tell you personal things and their life story.

~you feel like you need to “fix” people and situations. Want to make life easier for people

~you notice everything!

~you have a hard time saying “no”

~you can’t watch the news, or emotional tv shows or movies

~you are sensitive to sounds and/or lights

~you are a free spirit, creative, don’t fit into the norm

~care deeply about people’s comfort, feelings and happiness

~you feel other people’s joy, despair, happiness

~fatigue, tired feel worn down all the time.

~you’re an introvert

~you tend to take on the emotions that surround you. You get angry around angry people, etc.

So, I’m an Empath, now what?

Most live life without ever understanding why they don’t enjoy shopping or going to the fair. Anxiety and introversion is the name of the game, which provides a barrier between the outside world and themselves. We are not going to go that route. We’ve been heading that way too long, time to live some life!!

 

First things we have to come to terms that this is our life. Accept and acknowledge our truth. We are empathic, we are sensitive band emotional and it’s okay! We are gonna take the bull by the horns!

 

Second, by being mindful we will start to recognize which emotion is our own, what is coming from our environment, and what is coming from other people. Take a break, deep breaths, try to quiet your mind and process. Are you angry, or is someone else? Are YOU frantic? Happy, sad, anxious, furious, envious, etc. When we learn to recognize our own emotions and separate them from what we are actually experiencing.

Third, recognize situations we will most certainly experience empath overload and take precautions. Common places that have a thick mixture of conflicting emotions: WALMART is hell on earth! Concerts, fairs, festivals, malls, busy restaurants, school events, work meetings, church, family gatherings, etc etc etc. Use the tools that work for you.

 

Empath overload isn’t fun. Mind fog, inability to think clearly, headache, feeling entirely overwhelmed and distracted, easy to anger, panic attacks, feeling like you just gotta get out of there, hyperfocusing, emotional overload. These symptoms are what I experience and are very typical of an empaths response to overwhelming environments.

Start a journal, start being a little bit more mindful. Figure out your triggers. That is the first step in taking back your energy. Next blog post will be all about the woo-woo ways I have gotten a handle on my sensitive and empathetic side.

LOVE AND LIGHT!! ❤empath101 (1)

 

 

The road so far…

WHEW! I FINALLY did it! I started a blog!

I have no idea what I’m doing! A HUGE thanks to my awesome friend Mrs. MommyMack, for making my featured images and all the help and advice she has given me the past few months as I stewed this blog adventure over.

A little about myself:
My name is HO, or some call me Heidi. I’m also known as MMMOOOMMM!!! I have an almost teenage son and a preschool aged daughter. I’ve been married to the love of my life for almost 15 years now. We live in a super tiny town in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and we love it here. Minus the winters. Winter sucks. Spring is well on her way, Thank you Mother Earth!

I’m relatively new to my spiritual journey, yet I’m not if that makes any sense at all. Maybe one day I will share my story. It is way too much for one post, especially my very first blog. Suffice it to say that through the years I’ve learned a lot. It has just been since I’ve met my mentor and amazing friend Tammy that I have bloomed spiritually. I am so thankful for her!

I am a Lightworker, a tarot/oracle card reader, empath and intuitive. I’m a believer of all things love and light. I’m hoping to use this blog to pass on what I’ve learned. And to help those new to their journey as Tammy has helped me.

I’m so glad to be here!