“You’ve been breaking down for far too long. Far too many moons since you’ve felt well and strong.”

(Paradigm, Avenged Sevenfold)

Anyone else relate to that lyric as much as I do? I know I cannot be alone! There are days, weeks, months that feel like a constant struggle.

After a short meditation this morning, I pulled a few cards to help guide this blog post. To give me words and inspiration. They gave me a clear and personal message, but one I feel we all can relate to. And important to any empath or spiritually minded person.


Rider-Waite Smith Tarot, Picture by Heidi Oczus

We all have days in which we are a hot mess. Days where we are fighting to keep ourselves together and just do what needs to be done. Days that the burden we carry seems too much. As empaths we understand how hard it is to carry another persons burdens so we keep them to ourselves. Depression, anxiety, exhaustion seem to be our “friends” and hope hard to find.

I know when I find myself in this rut of mundane daily existence and feel the pressure on my shoulders, I tend to sit in my nightgown and drink coffee all day. I do the bare minimum to survive, and keep my kids as happy as possible. It is like all my fucks have been spent, and there are just no more left to give.

It is normal. We all experience this. Every single human.

During the hard times, the struggles, we tend to focus on what we lack! We lack a clean house. We lack time to follow or pursue our interests. We lack freedom, time with friends, time to ourselves, money. We lack normalcy, we lack strange, we lack the feelings of thrill and the rush of spontaneity. Maybe we feel a lack of acceptance, self esteem or confidence.


How do I move forward?


Coming from that point of ego and feelings of lack, we can’t really see the forest for the trees. Waking up from that fog is the first step. Ground yourself, and clear your energy. Always with the grounding and clearing. It is great practice in mindfulness, and really helps pull us forward.

Page of Pentacles tells me that to move forward from the struggles we need to do some work. He is seemingly alone, yet look around him! He is in a fertile field of green, surrounded by life. Crops, mountains and trees off in the distance. The pentacle in his hands represents monetary and other worldly possessions. Looking at this card I am reminded of all we have in this life.

Sit down with pen and paper, a cup of tea or coffee, and think about all you have in your life. Start a list of everything, every one, every situation you are grateful for in your life.

Take care of yourself! Practice self care. It isn’t selfish, it is 115% necessary! Say no if you’re not feeling it. Take a bath. Have a glass of wine before bed and watch a trashy TV show. Go shopping! Get your hair done! Paint your nails, exercise, meditate.

As you’re making your gratitude list think of different ways you’ve been neglecting yourself, and ways you can work self care into your life. Start to remember who you really are. You are NOT your struggle!!

Times of struggle and darkness helps to illuminate that shadow. What is that shadow teaching us? As the Red Hot Chili Peppers say “The darkness helps us all to shine.” Take the time to love yourself, learn about yourself. It will help lead you to the light!

❤ HO